Honeybees: A Real Head-Scratcher

Ivo asks all the time, "What I thinkin'?"

Other times, he wants to know, "What I want?"

Like all things Ivo, it's cute, though he WILL interrupt to ask these urgent questions, which makes talking to Ryan about all-the-stuff-we-have-to-do-before-we-move-to-another-continent just a little tough. We're teaching Ivo to wait his turn and if it's really important to say, "excuse me,..." So now, there's a lot of "EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! MOM, MOM, MOM! STOP TALKING!" Yes, Ivo? "Um... What I thinkin'?"

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Today Ivo, Burl and I met Tessa and Alison at Mitsukoshi for a fancy (dry, pay-to-play) play. It's been raining for more than a week and the forecast is rain through next week. Hard to get your play on under these circumstances.

There were a couple kids whom Ivo didn't get along with at the play space. As his mother, I'm pretty sure it was the other kids who were being jerkies. 2 little girls with perms wouldn't let Ivo use the kitchen stuff - even though he'd been there first, making coffee and rice and such. Later, another, younger kid kept knocking down the block towers Ivo was making. Ivo kept telling him NO! but the kid was persistent. Totally flummoxed, Ivo shouted, "YOU, DAMMIT!" The kid was unfazed. Ivo turned the tables and went on the offensive, knocking down the kid's tower attempts.

Obviously I don't think I interfere too much - but I do make my presence known and I do engage. I think the idea that kids should work stuff out themselves has a time and place but that it is not absolute - it's not a commandment. I think our job is to model and teach social skills. Letting kids work it out themselves results in a lot of bullying and cruelty in my experience. And while the world may be running on a grabby-might-is-right platform, I think humans can act and should expect better. I also want Ivo and Burl to know I am their advocate and that they are so so so worth advocating for. I believe this will help them develop the gumption to stick up for themselves.

So I told the girls that we are all here to play together - which they ignored. I then went more direct and told one of them to move over when she was intentionally blocking Ivo from putting his rice in the oven. This was after watching Ivo try on his own initiative, encouraging him to keep trying and seeing him ignored.

My interference with the blocks went the other way. I tried to talk Ivo into leaving the kid alone and playing something else - which he did - after a few more knock-downs.